Graham is almost 6 months..

First Thanksgiving

Such a big handsome boy

So sweet and happy

Raspberries; learns new things every day it seems

Just a few pictures to show this happy boy we've got on our hands. He continues to sleep through the night, is now eating solids, still breast-feeding, belly laughs, rolls all over and sits up like such a big boy. His smile is contagious and I simply cannot get enough. I joked once that I wish I didn't have to share! But certainly I'm thankful I do, especially with the best mommy\wife ever. We've been signing more and all done (my version of all done is a slight freak out lol) and drink. He is starting to acknowledge his name when you say it.

Life isn't slowing down like it kinda looked like it might. Instead, a little wrench has been thrown at us to say the least as my Father has recently been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. We remain optimistic, but it's been challenging and the logistics aren't exactly easy right now. I ask for prayers and support for now.

While my health is important to me, it's no lie to say I've completely obliterated what I (we) worked so hard for last year. I continue to work on my emotional and mental well-being which is the higher concern, but I mustn't wait for the "right time" to start dedicating time to my physical well-being. Let's face it Graham will be running around like crazy in just another 6 months and this Mama is in no shape to chase him around. I want to change that. I need to change that. It's time to change that. I am feeling this way as a result of a conversation with my Dr. that I need to seriously consider lowering medication and let's face I found stress relief in exercise before, I just need to do it again. Hopefully, that will really help.

Yes, I put too much pressure on myself. Yes, work was very demanding especially for the last 4 months. Yes, my son is a huge life changer. Yes, the financial worries can be challenging. Yes, my marriage is being challenged as a result of all of the above. Yes, my Father is ill. Yes, I want better for myself, my son, my marriage. No, I do not want to be dependent on medication as much as I've had to as of late. No, I don't expect overnight changes because it's taken a year to get here, it will probably take about the same to get back to where I (we) was.

Again, I ask for prayers and support for myself that I continue to find strength, better ways to cope, deal with stresses as they are often too much for me to handle in the way I'd like. I am also seeking other ways to get help ie Classes, massages, acupuncture etc.. ideas, suggestions are certainly welcomed.

Espresso keeping me up!

All 3 of us took a 2 hour nappie from 330-530, then I went to Bux. Bux did its job as I'm still currently awake!
Car washed, baby bathed, Mama showered, 4 loads of laundry tackled (unfortunately, there is prob 4 more left!), dishwasher unloaded/reloaded, kitchen cleaned, coffee premade, breakfast prepped, Logan brushed and now I'm waiting for the dough to rise before I can go to bed. Usually I can't make it past 10-11pm, nor does espresso affect me like this!
Nicole went to bed quite a bit ago which is weird because I can't remember the last time we didn't go to bed together. However, this Mama got a "bug" and that Mommy was tired and needed her sleep.
Sure have enjoyed both the day and night and I hope you have too. :) 

Ps. Please keep Caemon from reproducing genius and his mommies in your thoughts and prayers as he battles leukemia.

08.20.10-08.20.12

Today marks our two year wedding anniversary. I am married to the woman of my dreams and I couldn't ask for a better wife. She is loyal, faithful, loving, funny, beautiful, brilliant, sexy and a pleasure to share this journey with. I am so grateful.
This year was a bit tough, but we came out on top. We suffered some major losses from our miscarriage, to our grandma to our condo, they were hard hard losses. And still are. Speaking for myself, I know they still affect me quite regularly. However, we also experienced our biggest gain together too, the birth of our son.
Graham, for me, gave me something so unimaginable, something so unconditional, something so beautiful... It's simply indescribable. I never knew this woman of my dreams could be so capable of making such a thing, but she did. I am completely fulfilled in my heart, mind, body and soul. Thank you, Nicole for being you and for being my constant.
Cheers to many more years!
I love you UI

Ps. I can't wait to open my 12 months of prepaid, preplanned dates each month!

Unsolicited advice

Yes, I've become one of THOSE mommies. Uh oh. Honestly though I do try to preface everything with "what worked for us" coupled with finishing my conversation with "every baby is different and you'll figure out what works best for yours". And I truly mean it. I just feel like some of the things I HAVE to share were such life or time savers that I want to make it work for someone else's family too! I have good intentions I really do. Plus, most of these things were suggested to us thanks to some of the other new mommies around us!

So here are a few things that work(ed) for us:

-Swaddle me swaddles (only at bed time)
-Give breast feeding 1 month (I watched her cry from the pain, attended a lactation consultation appt and kept her company just so she wouldn't be lonely in those wee hours of the night while she fed)
-Attended a handful of classes @ Kaiser before his arrival (And baby makes 3 was invaluable!!)
-Communication is key (it is inevitable you will talk about some of the hardest things in your life during such a time)
-Zipper sleepers (because at 3am trying to line the buttons up takes a lot of effort)
-Breast flow bottles at 4 weeks (they mimic a breast so as to not cause nipple confusion)
-Cloth diapers (huge financial savings, gentle on their skin, bamboo inserts hardly leak, but it takes team work)
-Angel care monitor (monitors their breathing so mommies can relax and sleep a little easier)
-Aden and Anais blankets (esp for summer babies, good size and breatheable)
-Nuk pacifier (orthopedic kind to be specific)
-Gas drops (because there is nothing better than a happy baby!)
-Ergo & Moby (for when you need to be hands free)
-Puj tub (soft and convenient)
-Take time off (time honestly flies by, take off from work as much as possible)

7 weeks

Has flown by like I never thought it could. This little fella of ours has brought us so much love, joy, challenges, and happiness. I feel so lucky to be his mama.

One thing is for sure, I'm so glad my wife and I have such a solid and beautiful foundation. Having this little guy has tested our patience, made us doubt ourselves and challenged our instincts at times. However, the respect and love we have for one another has helped us to preservere and end up on top (pardon the pun) during such challenges.
Breast feeding and cloth diapering is going well, though is a lot of work, but nothing this team can't handle. I am so proud of us, consistency has never been our strength, but he has brought that to our household and hopefully its here to stay.

Speaking of, Monday is the day we start eating healthier (less fast food, more at home), start exercising (I will ride my bike on Monday) and getting healthy again. Then we will start WW come August. There is SO much I want to do with this guy, but know I (we) need to be in better health to make it happen. I really want to show him the world as much as I'm able.

Real quick-
Holding his head up better and more often
Smiling at mommy on command
Cooing (love it)
Poop machine
Farts like an old man (quite impressive)
Intentionally hits toys in bouncer
Blows bubbles
Breast feeding with no nipple shield
Technically sleeping through the night (please don't make me eat those words)
Loves bathy time w mama