Not so wonderful

Sorry in advance for the pity party... I won't announce this blog on FB... So let me preface this by saying this is not an attack on anyone, just my feelings exposed as my family goes through this tough time.

Been feeling some anxiety in the last week or so and I think I've finally pin-pointed it. Seeing my mom move for the 3rd time (in my life) following a divorce (albeit official or unofficial yet) is hitting me pretty hard. Today is the official move day. We've been to the house a couple times now to help and it's getting the best of me. Feels like we just got her\them settled in there, into her new life, and celebrated a beautiful wedding, but now that's over. Just like that. I mean I'm not discrediting their attempts at trying to make it work or whatever, but really another marriage over, done. Trying to see the positive right now seems so distant. Watching her hurt one day, but then solid the next... it's natural to be all over the place and I try my very best to be there for her as much as I possibly can in both ways... but it's not easy is what I'm trying to say. I know I'm strong, I know she's strong and I also know Jon is strong, but sometimes the weakness prevails. It is a fact that they will make it through this difficult time, but man it hurts and is just so hard from a daughters perspective.

We saw her new home yesterday. Very bittersweet, but for she and Jon it really is just perfect. I guess that's a really good thing. Ugh this is just so hard to write, I suppose I should just stop now...

So here's to you Mom even if you never see this, to your new life, hopefully happiness shows up for you and your new home very soon cause you deserve it. Your kids and your family love you more than words could ever say, just keep laughing and smiling it's what you do best! There is hope!

~ Jen